Ice Hole Whisky


My friend Scott thought it would be a great idea to hide a bottle of Kessler’s (cheap whisky) in an ice hole on lake Winnebago. His thinking was, it would be cool to pull a bottle of whisky out of the frozen lake and drink it.

People drill ice holes out there in the wintertime for ice fishing, and Scott had put the bottle in one of these holes a couple days before. This kept it cold and for some reason it didn’t get stuck.

We drove out to the lake and he walked out onto the ice to get it. I had brought some Pepsi’s, root beers, and fast food cups. I taught Scott that you need to pour the soda in first because the whiskey will start to eat away the bottom of the fast-food cup and it gets all soggy.

We just sat there in the parking lot by the lake and drank. That would pretty much be the end of the story, but as we were sitting there, a bus from a casino showed up and dropped off a horde very drunk, very old people. After being dropped off they proceeded to stumble and meander to their cars so as to drive themselves home.

It was a portrait of a capitalistic America at its finest. Multiple geriatric​ drunks drinking, gambling, and then driving their way home. This is America. Where a casino on an indian reservation will provide a free bus ride for most of the trip in order to get your grandparents’ retirement monies. And it looked like those geezers had a great time.